LIFE LESSON #1: PHONES AREN'T YOUR FRIEND

Hello world. 

So it's the summer holidays and like all university students I'm realising that university is an amazing experience, but it has its faults. You make friends from all over the country and internationally, you have a great year of fun and constantly being at each other beck and call, and then suddenly June comes, and you realise everyone has a life outside of uni. For me, living in somewhere rural on the opposite end of the country, this is not the sweetest of things to find out. Another relatable factor is that all uni students, no matter what you say, are broke in their own way, and everyone is in the same boat, so when you plan to see each other over the summer during your freshers year, it doesn't dawn on you that train tickets cost major shmoney. 

And so some uni students come home to their friends from high school and forget that that year of barely keeping in contact has occurred, and take comfort in the fact that at least they've got someone who they can socialise with. Me? not so much. Losing contact with people from school is hard but you move on and make new friends in university. We build a completely separate life away in university so when we come home and have to live under our parents roof like our awkward sixteen year old selves it gets weird. Eating potato waffles at 4am is frowned upon, you can't get pissed everytime you're bored/sad/in love. So readjusting to home life can get tough, and it can certainly get boring despite the love you have for your parents and maybe your dog (Spencer I love you). 

Summer for me lasts from late May to mid September, and when you have one friend back home it can get pretty tedious. There then comes the issue of getting a job. Luckily, I bloody love my job and everyone who works there, in fact I'm making new friends there as we speak but it isn't so bad. So then, we get to the issue of boredom. As many millennials will know and many older people will preach, when we 'kids' are ever in a position of boredom or discomfort, we seek solace in our technology. Here's the thing that I've struggled with. 

On the one hand, phones connect us to our friends all over the country. Even with the new update of Snapchat, you can literally see where your friend is and what they're doing whenever they are logged in. You can look at their pictures, have a little stalk of their profiles, and maybe even check if that couple are still together, or if those friends have made up yet. 

The sad truth? Phones suck for anxiety. Phones and social media constantly remind us that we are in isolation, and aren't with the people we are missing. You have the constant temptation to check up on certain people who you know are having an amazing time without you, and no matter where you are, you feel discomfort that you can't be part of that. For me, I have really struggled with my mobile phone recently. We have struggled to have wifi in the house for months, so I don't even have the option to keep in contact with my friends. I also live incredibly rural and haven't passed my driving test yet, so I can't go anywhere or do anything. With the anxiety of loneliness, I then overspend on data and that leads to anxiety of dealing with money to pay for a house next year. Also, I've been through pain recently with some people in my life so knowing that they are out there and probably enjoying themselves hurts me, and that's a feeling I don't like.

Phones aren't your friend, they make us envious and obsessive people who are unable to live in the moment as we are constantly wondering who's going to message us, why someone isn't messaging us, why that person is having a nice time when they haven't been nice to you in the past. This is where my anxiety stems from, and I proved this yesterday with a little experiment. I simply put my phone down and went to read for two hours. Knowing that I don't have my phone at my fingertips made me feel revitalised, less anxious, and helped me focus more on spending time with people, or reading my books.

Therefore, if you're a fellow lonely student during the summer months of university, I urge you to put your phone down for a couple hours a day, turn it off and put it away. See how this effects your moods and your loneliness. Even though you're not with anyone, there's a chance that you'll find more comfort in yourself and a book than a device which constantly tempts you to think otherwise.